Are you in a relationship that you feel trapped in? Does your partner seem to have a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde Personality? Do you find yourself always walking around on eggshells and deal with frequent anxiety and panic attacks in your relationship? Are you starting to question your own sanity and wonder what you did wrong or question often if it’s you that is the problem? Has your personality changed- do you find yourself not really knowing who you are anymore or don’t recognize the person you have become?
You may be in a narcissistic, toxic, or abusive relationship.
What Are The Signs?
Relationships with Narcissistic Personality Types typically follow a pattern and cycle of Idealization, Devaluation, Discarding, and then Hoovering.
In the idealization phase, the narcissist puts their partner on a pedestal and worships them. This is often referred to as Love Bombing.
They will make them feel like they are the most special and important person in the world.
This can be a very intoxicating feeling, and it is often what keeps people in the relationship despite the red flags that may be present.
However, the idealization phase will not last forever. Eventually, the narcissist will begin to devalue their partner.They may start to nitpick at them and find fault in everything they do.
Some examples are:
- You’re never good enough
- You’re not pretty/smart/successful enough
- You’re not doing things the right way
- You’re not meeting their needs
They may also begin to withdraw their affection and love. This can be a very confusing and painful experience for the victim as they try to figure out what they did wrong.
The final phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle is discarding. This is when the narcissist completely breaks off the relationship and leaves their partner feeling worthless and abandoned, or sometimes they don’t break up but behave in ways that make it hard for you to stay.
Examples of how this can look are:
- The narcissist will abruptly break up with their partner and leave them without any explanation
- The narcissist will cheat on their partner and then blame them for it
- The narcissist may ghost, stonewall, ignore, and/or behave in ways that make it hard for you to stay.
They may do this abruptly or they may gradually withdraw over time. Either way, the person is left feeling confused, hurt, and alone.
After the relationship has ended or the narcissist has ghosted or stonewalled you, the narcissist may try to hoover the person back into the relationship.
They may do this by reaching out and being overly charming or loving. This can be a very confusing and difficult experience for the person, as they may still have feelings for the narcissist.
Some examples of how this looks are:
- “I’m sorry for everything, I miss you so much. I promise to change, just please come back.”
- “I know we had some problems but I can’t stop thinking about you. I still love you.”
- “You’re the only one who really understands me. I need you.”
I am here to help!
I have helped many individuals like yourself who have left narcissistic and toxic relationships and begun their journey of healing and recovery. I have developed a system that incorporates several steps to help you safely leave a narcissistic relationship and start your healing journey to live a life you deserve. Leaving a narcissist can be tricky, but you don’t have to do it alone and I can help guide you in this process, even if there are children involved.
